After she fought multiple medical issues so hard, for so long, I had to say goodbye to my much loved dog, Bailey, on Friday. It comes as no surprise to anyone who knows us, or any pet lover for that matter, that this has been the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.
They’re Not Kidding, Denial Isn’t Just a River…
When you have so many close calls, you just start to believe that “she’ll beat this one too” - even though logically you know that sooner or later, luck will run out.
In the end, her little body just couldn’t push on any more. Our vet, who had worked tirelessly for us, coming up with solution after solution, said what I already knew, there was no more we could do for her.
Ironically, it wasn’t the congenial heart and lung problems that we’d dealt with all her life that took Bailey from me, it was tumors on her brain and lungs (and probably elsewhere too).
My Little Weirdo
Yes, you read that right, I’m calling my beloved pupster weird, in the best possible ways…Bailey was always her own dog. She wasn’t going to be defined by conventions.
She was never the least bit food motivated, what she really wanted was love and attention from people. Old, young, even wheelchairs and canes and such - things that often freak out other dogs - never mattered to Bailey. If you were a person, she loved you and expected that you would love her too. The only thing that baffled Bailey was people who would pass her by without giving her love. (Me too, for that matter!). And oh, if we went out for a walk or out to run errands and she didn’t score love from at least one person, she would visibly pout about it.
It always cracked me up when people would try to offer Bailey a treat, and she’d ignore it while staring at them intently. People always looked at me confused. Then I’d explain what she really wanted, and she’d soak up the attention they’d lavish on her.
At the pet store, Bailey’s favorite section was the cat aisle, followed closely by the fish tanks. She didn’t try to get the fish, she just seemed to like to watch them and enjoy the sound of the water.
Water was an all-time favorite for Bailey. It didn’t matter if was a a bath, rain, the beach, the baby pool my friend bought for her, joining me in the shower (uninvited, I should add),or just messing around with hose - Bailey loved water in all forms. Bailey loved her pool time.In a pinch, she’d dunk toys into her water bowl for a bit of splashy fun.
Most of all, Bailey loved snow. She’d run in it, play in it, roll in it, rub her face in it, and even eat it. Bailey got quite skilled at tricking me into believing she needed to go out when all she really wanted was more play time in the snow.
So, of course, when the universe was looking for a way to stomp harder on my heart, it snowed the day after Bailey died.
I could go on and on, and I probably will in the upcoming days. But for now I just want to let those who knew Bailey IRL or online know that she’s gone. I need to start to learn how to live without her. No easy task, to be sure.
Hug your pets for us tonight.